Hard to Phase

This morning I had a conversation with a friend who was part of an intervention for a alcoholic family member.  Yesterday I talked to a friend who has struggled with addictions for years. I have talked to Jamie’s family this week as they have struggled with my mom-in law’s birthday without Tony.  I talked to another friend that is trying to figure out how to help parents of kids who are struggling with gender identity. I talk to Emma every day and am acutely aware of her struggles as she negotiates high school. And I walk daily with Jamie as she processes the loss of her brother.

All of these conversations happened this week. And not one of them felt hopeless to me. As I sit here and think about these hard conversations and these struggles I am struck with the reality that in every dark place there is hope. Addictions can be overcome. Mourning can lead to a deeper love for life. Families facing gender issues can find loving acceptance. And yes, even a high school kid can survive Junior year.

My hope doesn’t come from a long line of success stories. Quite the opposite it comes from many stories of being broken…and surviving. Addictions? Yep. Loss of loved ones? Indeed. Mental health challenges? Sure. Parenting through gender dysphoria? Been there.

But none of it has destroyed me. Beaten and bruised and knocked down, but never destroyed.  Which brings me to this point: there are some advantages to middle age. I am 47. I have seen a lot and done a lot. And I am pretty hard to phase these days. Very little surprises me.  Yes, I get hurt. And I experience disappointment but I’m rarely caught off-guard. I see brokenness in such a different way than I do in my 20s and 30s. Now I expect it whereas I used to do whatever I could to avoid it.

And as AA pounds into you: your strength comes from your story and how your own brokenness can give hope and strength to others. Maybe others of you have experienced this in some way–either trying to avoid pain or getting to a place of acceptance about the presence of pain in a broken world. Wherever you are today I pray that you will draw strength from the broken places.